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SPORTSMAN/WOMAN!

Sport is now a world wide industry - get to the top of some sports and you can earn more big ones than a bankers bonus;... if you are male.
Sorry girls, you can count the number of women on the breasts of one chest that can get anywhere near the man money. Your best shot for gold would be to marry a rich male sportsman. I believe Tiger - a dollar half billionaire - is still available at the moment.
Over fifteen? no discrete bionic body with a brain to match; then forget it - we are talking about your offspring now.
If !!! you think the genes of your genital junk will pop out a super sportsman to support you in later life; here's some advice:
Age is the key - the sooner the start the greater the chance of success. Get your brat scanned and tested before birth to ascertain the specific sport for the maximum returns. Almost any shape or size - except prop forward - will do for football; if you catch em young enough.
Don't wait till they can walk - as soon as your brat is born, sneak into the maternity ward and start tossing a table tennis ball off its bonce. It will soon learn and you'll be up to a medium size medicine ball in less time than MUFC got in extra time if they were losing. As soon as he (sorry girls or wags it has to be a he) can walk, concentrate on scoring goals. Only two - or three max - in any squad can get anywhere near the goal. Strikers are a premium, especially in the Premier.
The Premiership is on the wane; though both pro and pundit in (on) the game wont yet publicly admit it. You can argue that the Premier league is the cause and or the effect of less people playing football now . Less players = less competition .If your nice little earner to be is already kicking in the womb remember the previous advice and get him into the game as soon as possible. He will be ready for the next generation of soccer super earners.
To maximise your profit, keep it in the family, you, be your little angels agent. Being an agent requires very little training - just practice saying," You're joking... We want more than that"
Haven't one on the way - get right on the job now. Constant repetition of a mantra,such as " Get in I've scored" will exponentially increase the chance of your spouse or partner producing a striker.

If ! your brat scan shows up long and slim with feet longer than a Lebanese lap-dancers..... Swimming is to be your lane to the lucre.
To ensure the best of possible start, it is essential for your investment to be born under water. As soon as it pops up for its first breadth or breath, commence the water-boarding, while whispering, "who's daddies little dolphin then" This, as yet un-proved but intuitively innovative, training technique will fast track your water baby into the fast lane,

Only the very, very, few top swimmers get the big money at any one time; the same with formula one drivers, tennis players, athletes and golfers. Rugby and cricket now produce a somewhat lavish lifestyle; however,they are far from Major League.
You want Major League Lucre - Emigrate to the US of A and become a nationalised American citizen. The land of the brave and the free sure know how to pay their players of the game - some would say any bloody game.
The rewards and riches of the American sporting industry are way to numerous to list here - here's a small something to get you salivating. NFL place kickers, even skateboarders, can be dollar millionaires in the states.
Don't worry if you don't make the grade in America - If you can sort of semi-prove that your great uncle Arthurs, auntie Emmas second cousin removed is a relation, you will still be eligible to take a running jump for England and earn a few ackers.
Because of the rich rewards, cheating in sport now finds an unending tortuous route to the podium.
Do not worry - there are a number off events in sport where people look the other way. These are shot putting, tug of war, rowing, and drug taking.
Timing and a man mountain modicum of discretion are essential as different sporting organisations crack down at different times.
In sport, like industry, it is sometimes beneficial to have a raquet of some kind - It will come in handy at times.
Remember - To smash while smashed is better than not smashing at all.