One couldn’t make it up...

August 2015

The first day of August 2015
I'm on the road again.
Not physically! ...In mind and spirit

The London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine has published the results of a survey
The switching off of street lights has no effect on crime and road safety...
- GOSH Really! I'll bet the bookies are still taking bets on this one. - No gosh.

Not long ago, when fracking (what a strange word) first entered the public domain
Not one, not two, but! three! meritorious professors of different geology departments published papers saying that fracking was safe.
It seems, It seems! It was proven beyond doubt; they were paid to publish, by the 'there's no f in rakers' - A geo josh

Its not the fact that some people tell lies for money.
It's not the fact how many people tell lies for money.
It's the fact that people in power tell a lot more lies and cover it up... - no chance of a GOSH.

The interest in the escape road to Dover is stacking up, higher and higher.
The citizens of Kent are directly increasingly affected and the nation indirectly... - GOSH

Economic immigration isn't a 'Little Englander' problem. Nor a pan European... It's a world wide problem... something to do with inequality; perhaps! - GOSH

They are only here (trying to get here) for the beer and benefits.
They haven't travelled thousands of 'aspirational' miles and only want to be like you and me. - GOSH

Them damn Frenchy Trade Unionistas are taking advantage of the situation and working themselves according to the 'Press barons'...
I didn't know that rich people had the monopoly of 'taking advantage of market(s) conditions'. - GOSH

If! we let them all in. GOSH
Would! they pay more tax than your money laundering rich chums! Georgie boy? - GOSH

2/8 2015

'Dave' is trying to play the game with France over the Calais 'immigrants'.
Wise up for once Dave...
France has all the immigrants - it also has all the best cards. - A GOSH for dave.

I was caught up in (if not the first...) 'operation stack' - didnt have a clue what was going on!
Nor, did many of the the bizzies. - GOSH

It reminded me of Aberfan...
Flash backs are really in the mind - but, they are real... GOSH to you doubters

The memorial has these words - not by the church - one of the mothers...
'God came down to gather flowers'
'He passed this way and gathered ours'
I'm a firm non-believer - some people must really believe... - Gosh

The government and treasury accepted not one iota of responsibility
Not one individual was brought to account...
The charitable fund paid for the removal of what was left of the tip.
Later; The National Coal Board were found to be totally to blame
Nothing changes - Eh! - GOSH

Some top athletes haven't been taking drugs...
Some top bankers are not greedy. -GOSH

Boston has declined to take on the 20 something Olympics.
One in twenty two people in America are lawyers.
In Boston Massachusetts it's one in eleven.
Boston Massachusetts makes Darras Hall look like ( pick a town N. of the Watford gap)
The Olympics must cost a few bob now! - GOSH

The new Man U home kit is available now.
Get yours direct at,'Get ripped off (not the shirt - YOU) here dot con' -GOSH

3/8 2015

The 'immigration problem' is now hotter than a Senegal summer.
Nay! it's hotter than the blood in an athletes transfusion...
Never forget; these 'top' athletes only have transfusions cos most of them are ill. - GOSH

The 'Daily Mail' repeatedly tells us, 'The Immigrants' are only here for the beer and benefits'
The daily mail is owned by lord (the clue's in the title)Rothmere - a tax domicile. - GOSH

It's his chums who own and run the Global village
Village! It's a global gang of greedy gits. - GOSH

They (immigrants) want to come here cos they know; the gang of greedy gits will give em 'a job'.
No other country(economic unit or cash cow) has been ripped apart by privatisation
As much as the UK - ask the SNP? - a greedy gosh

But! you are a posh! pleb - you knew that already...
That's why you joined UKIP - to get em out and keep em out - NO gosh

Who was the most surprised to win the last election?
The answer is in the question - the tories of course - Gosh

Any! any other result and dave would have been out the door quicker than a crashed bank bank clerk.
From deep division to greedy grasping political opportunism in the 'bottoming out' of a ballot box. - GOSH

Unfortunately! for you UKIPers; the really rich gits prefer daves 'gang' to Nige's 'numpties'
Not even a hint of a gosh... - GOSH

There's a new bloke on the block - One Jeremy Corbyn.
He is against austerity and for public investment - could be the answer...Eh! - Gosh

Not who; but, how long ago, was it said, "nationalism is the last refuge of a scoundrel"?...
Ask the germans! they played it both ways - won and lost then won with a mixed economy;
with more than a nudge of nationalism. - GOSH

4/8 2015

The New Scientist ( the eminent journal - no less) has just revealed...
The capitalist network that runs the world...
There are 147 huge firms that disproportionately control everything - mostly banks!... Gosh

"There is no cause for concern", said the team from 'Zurich'
"There is no evidence of conspiracy or exertion of political influence..."
It is just a'natural order' of doing things ; that can have negative, as well as, positive effects - Gosh

Isn't it just great to know that;
The people who put the annual bilderberg conference together...
Couldn't organise a 'piss-up in a brewery.
- One great gadzooks of a GOSH

A UK banker/trader/hired ex-pleb has been jailed - A(******* ) you put the swearing in GOSH

The establishment are playing 'placate the pleb', again.
More! prosecutions are to follow...
Let's see; how far up the rich toffs food chain they get...
ps - I didn't forget the gosh.

These 'traders' have more transfers than footballers.
I wonder why! - GOSH

Are you flummoxed or bewildered by the vast figures involved in banking?
It's just 'funny' money.
It only becomes real; when they take the 'bonus' out...

Are you a banker or a pleb?
Another sell-off - paying again, for another, and the same 'haircut' Sucker.

It's tiring, writing about these... these banker/traders.
They! say, that these banker/traders work really hard.
Oh no they don't - most of the time they just sit there waiting for 'something' to happen.
When nothing happens - they make it happen... - a greedy as a gannet GOSH

5/8 2015

Is it 5, 15 or 25 police forces investigating the late dead Sir ted?
How convenient; without stating the bleeding obvious;
wouldn't we all be better off, if! they investigated the 'still practising'.
There's nowt like a target that can't fire back. - GOSH

Young whippersnappers won't believe... and New labour will vehemently deny; that
Ted Heath was to the left of Phony tony bliar. - A gradual realisation to some GOSH

Want any more proof that 'we are all in this together'!
The greedy gits just can't wait; they have to sell off RBS at a loss...

Another of the ; 'new labour clan' has threatened to 'not serve' in a Jeremy Corbyn cabinet.
Wouldn't they have more street cred if they threatened to resign! - GOSH

Yvette cooper; now the main! contender to J Corbyn ; is one of the Two Balls of New Labour.
They are both Oxbridge and Harvard educated sort of economists.
Ed lost his seat and is now back at Harvard studying economic stability...No irony there Gosh

Jeremy (joe,jack or johnny would have been better) Corbyn - like me - was a grammar school boy.
He was a TU official before entering politics. A what do you reckon about a GOSH

The 2009 expenses scandal revealed that: The balls flipped three times...
Jeremy Corbyn had the lowest expenses claim of any MP... - GOSH

It seems that; a top surgeon has an ego bigger than a public school skiver on skunk.
Yet; smaller than a toff trader on a trip. - GOSH

Last month I took shanks's pony from Low Fell to the Toon...
Found myself behind a gang of laddettes in Gateshead...
GOSH - I know which generation of women I prefer... - GOSH

6/8 2015

Just read some of yesterdays humble offering.
To celebrate this frenzy of foresight in UK politics...
It's Quizling Thursday. - A fanfare of your choice GOSH

What has (new) labour got in common with Adolf Hitler?
They both only have one ball. A bum bum GOSH

What has (new) labour got in common with street lighting?
They are being turned off cos of money and dogs are using them more... - A metaphorical GOSH

What have (new) labour got in common with lance corporal Jones?
Don't panic... - A no need for a GOSH

What have (new) labour got in common with Sunderland and Bournemouth football clubs?
They are all relegation favourites. - A gambol GOSH

Why have I called it Quizling! thursday?
See how many of new labour collaborate with the 'new order!

The interest rate committee meet today - or rather; announce their decision...
They couldn't rig the committee! could they! - They have managed to rig almost everything else.
- A shed load of ironic gratuitous GOSH

The interest rate, basically (very, but fundamentally basically) affects two kinds of people- savers and borrowers.
Here's a clue; savers are usually rich - and, borrowers are usually poor...
Now! what kind of a gosh goes here?

The cricket season is finally fading into the annals of ennuie...
It would have to be one hell of a fancy dress 'party' to get me into a cricket ground... - NO No GOSH

I've seen em inspecting the wicket after play stops for the evening.
Talk about, Paint drying... - A caring concerned cosh... I mean GOSH

Of course! a lot of 'the cricket' is about the drinking and the talking...
So! let's! 'Talk about football' - A no own goal GOSH

Actually! actually, a lot of watching footie can be terribly damn boring; SO!
We'll have a word about the economics of football. - An OOh ooh GOSH

Most of the money spent on preparing for the premiership by B/mouth FC has been on; wait for it...
On; accommodating 'the media' and not the fans... - a goof of a GOSH

The economics of the West Ham, ex Olympic stadium, has become a freeloaders farce.
A fortune for the few and; us plebs paying the price...
Oh! I forgot - you aren't a pleb! Are you! - A genuflection of a Josh

The West Ham stadium farce represents the socio-economics of the last generation and a half.
The unbridled reign of a 'thatcherism', 'New' labour and a 'cabinet of millionaires' culture.
- A gargantuan goop of a GOSH

7/8 2015
Gosh - the Aussies were seen off quicker than an Aboriginee compensation claim.
Have they been on the Abo juice?
Will the Aussie authorities and bookies look the wrong way down the binocs at this one? - A gorging on a GOSH

Nough said about cricket...
Let's get back to the footie and; two of the biggest ever (f)arces.

Remember when the rich fellows at the FA signed an England manager who couldn't even speak ...English.
A desperate deed indeed! - A say no more GOSH

Who can forget the mid-season signing of one Andy (big galloot) Carrol for 35 £million.
He's had less goals and more 'injuries' than a sober morris dancer - A great galoot of a gallivanting Gosh

Are you often, more than, bewildered by the Football transfer market?
This may help! - A humble, but far from servile, GOSH

Remember the great foot and mouth farce!
At first; they were puzzled as to how it had spread so quickly.

What could be simpler: breed, feed and flog em; Ah! but...
They (the authorities) soon discovered that; the cows, lambs to slaughter/sheep (pets to some farmers)
went to market; two,three, plus, times in their brief lives...
Sometimes, to and fro across the same valley...
Footballers aren't a flock of lambs/sheep; Are they! - A rite wry grin of a GOSH

So! the 'press' believe that Jenson and Jessica Button were gassed then burgled in the South of France.
Gassing and burgling were an old chestnut/tale/story/myth, discussed by the, English on the continent, motorhome community.
Usually; some time after the click of a few 'well earned/needed' cans. - A gosh it's so much cheaper/stronger over there GOSH.

Well then! the interest rate is not going up.
I am reliably informed that the committee do not discuss or debate - they just go off the official figures
So! the one person who voted for a rise is; either thick, or got at. - A numbing no GOSH there then.

8/8 2015

Mind the Gap
Not the gap between striking tube workers and some 'buffoon' - a great gatsby of a GOSH

The gap of inequality - a gap that is being hidden by the thin veneer of a mass of convenient disbelief. - A gobshite of a gosh

The present era of inequality began with 'Thatcherism' "I want everyone to own their own house"... "Is he one of us; or one of them"? - a galvanising of a GOSH

"I want everybody to be a 'stakeholder'"... was the contrite contribution of the 'son of thatcher'.
The reality of phony Tony blairism was; steak for him and his rich chums - spam for the plebs. - A gourmet of gourmand GOSH

Poor old Nick clegg - not so old and definitely not poor...What was his pre lurid liaison lie (sorry...politicians promise)?
Oh! yes; free! education... - a did he really keep his seat GOSH

And! what of the other perjorative portion of the con... coalition
( it was the right of the party that won the liberal leadership)
What of 'eton educated' Dave! - A pretend I'm not posh GOSH

One would think that; the 'taking down' and destruction of the 'conservative' web site
(a mangled mess of deceit,false promise and lies (mistakes ...sorry!)) would be a sign of the inequality to come.
Oh no! not the most recent; but' most clearest, definitive sign of the inequality to come - The National Lottery...
One of the first - and biggest - lottery grants; was to ETON; for a sports pavillion/complex, the size of a small town.
Cheers sucker! A plank of platitudes... you plonker plebs... - A far from grateful GOSH

Now; right now! what is one to make of this, 'Cabinet of millionaires' mad dash to division?
The writing is more than on the wall - The sign has fell off and hit you on the head.
- A, look the other way - I'm doing alright - what a load of tosh GOSH

9/8 2015

Another day older...
GOSH - there are so many words to finish off the above...
You pays your money and takes your chance...
No - this time it's free - go on take your pick!
Hold on ! there's really no such thing as a 'free lunch' in an economy under pressure.
- A - you are too busy working to care... GOSH

Disillusioned Devolutionists ditch GM (genetically modified) for FM(fried mars bar)
Sun/star/express, headline for SNP banning GM crops. - A garden of Eden GOSH.

An SNP spokesperson said, "Scotland ('the sweaty socks' to some) is staying clean and green".
A spokesperson for the 'rich enough not to eat their own funny food' said,
"There's nothing dodgy or damaging about GM products" - A wonder why he had to say that GOSH

The SNP have been sort of 'conspicuous by their absence' in the 'House'.
They have got a country to run...However;
They hold all the cards - one wrong move from 'dave and his chums' and,
They'll be off quicker than a, well loaded Lord at a love-in trousers. A great big of a, go for it GOSH

The naval nuclear detergent is one of the cards...
A - slip of the finger - it only happens in Russia GOSH

Now! then! where could we put em in Englands green and pleasant land? The north of England? perhaps! - A hold-on; let's think about this GOSH

We've already got Spade....(censored) up here and the Wear is too tiny.
I have a cunning and counter productive plan - GOSH

Make the next generation smaller and put them in the Thames; right next to the houses of parliament
Nobody - friend or foe- would think we are capable of doing that. - An especially the politicians GOSH

GOSH! another 2.5 million of 'us' have had their/our bank account/details/whatever, hacked.
We had our personal joint account hacked last year. - A not a pleasant surprise GOSH

Here's what happens...
You have just entered the card details of an on-line trusted transaction and it crashes...
Some time later; you come back off holiday- your account has some strange payments; and,
you get a letter from your bank asking you to check your...
The bank refunds your losses -after a couple of visits and forms- because of altruistic free will.
A They refund cos they are supposed to be un-hackable GOSH

Do not worry - have no fear - do not panic - this cannot happen to you...
You are not living in the era of digital disinformation...
These hackers cannot organise two bits in a byte; never mind a drink-in in a distillery.
There's nobody flogging your info on the net or using 'inside info' to 'flog' you.
There hasn't been an astonishing increase in on-line fraud.
Wonder who knows the most about me; the hackers or the government!
A I'm an honest upright citizen - I've got nothing to hide GOSH

Which country - to which, the UK wouldn't pay royalties to use - had chip and pin security years before us?
It's the country with all those damn econo-immis( there's a new word for you,for nowt) La Belle France.
France is the most visited country in the World. - A I wonder what happened to their Royal family GOSH

Anyway! France handed over - for a few dollars,one would imagine - chip and pin to a consortium of American banks.
World banking security is now, run buy, sorry, run by, a group of three huge American financial institutions
one American/japanese and, wait for it, ah said wait... the Bank of China.
A anyone want to buy a world domination movie plot GOSH

Are you are a huge sports fan - thinking of going to an (any...) Olympic venue?
You better have a V... card - for; it is the only one, one can use... V... sponsor the Olympics
A great gang of greedy gits GOSH

10/8 2015

Just another manic monday...
A hold on... can a retired old realist (cynic to some) have a manic monday -
A who does he think he is ? a retired pro-politician on the (fiddle) GOSH

Do the people (suckers) on zero hours contracts have manic mondays?
My dads generation were the ones who stood in a line outside the docks;
for the owners skivvy, to come along and pick who got work for the day...
A are you sitting by the phone GOSH

I mention this cos Yvette ( the remaining half of the pair) - could have dropped one by;
Saying that a certain J Corbyn is going to take us back to the bad old days of OLD labour
It's a cycle; one would think that Ed and Yve (oxbridge and harvard remember) would know.
A; whether its, PPE or pseudo professional politician - its a gaff GOSH

No old bike jokes about Boris and his saddle sniffing kit; please.

A director on the management side of the London underground, has whinged
His two brats have to scrape on by with 30 bob jobs in London
while the tube drivers are lording it up...
He is obviously an opportunist... here's the simple answer
Get your brats to join a union - a proper one like the tube drivers - not one of those pretendy ones.
A patently obvious - or are you a un-inverted posh snob GOSH

Charities are hitting the headlines - this site is, and for, a charity
If! all (all) forms of charity were stopped - who would whinge the most?
A ask a rich mans accountant GOSH

A rich lord - who gets a fortune by pretending to be a foreigner ( scam tax domicile) has let his Editor; venomously continue the campaign against foreigners ripping the UK tax payer off.
A really must be thicker than a westminster wallet GOSH

A national daily is bringing out a sister edition - it's called the Fortnightly Female.
A less than gallant GOSH

Tailgate Tina is worse than a football fans hero
She's here she's there - she's every...
This time; the eyes were staring between the dash and steering wheel.
Here's a tip; get a couple of cushions etc, and, drop back a bit
You'll get a much better view of the road and live longer...
A we are all great drivers - drive safely GOSH

When! we lived in France; I used to say,
England has two good racing drivers and France has two million bad...
A is the global village and the EU making us all the same much quicker than we think GOSH

If! it is any consolation Tina! got my first speeding ticket last year.
The Lincolnshire section of the A1 in rush hour - heading home - no rush
Boxed in and tailgated at 69.5 by Lincolns finest in their chelsea tractors...
Didn't even see the flash when I; let's say, 'accelerated out of trouble'.
The naughty step course cost £95 at a semi-posh hotel in Durham...
A sting in the talegait - sign of the times...
Half, minus one, on the naughty step course, were women GOSH

11/8 2015

Nothing remarkable about today; except; it's called Dance Tuesday...
And; the new dance is called! The Corbyn Kerfuffle.
A sort of non gyrating geriatric josh

The JC kerfuffle is,as is the vast majority of things; the new form of a mix of the old.
A of course you knew that GOSH

Here's the mix: foxtrot... Twist...chicken dance... Highland Fling...
A what a strange but obvious mix GOSH...

Foxtrot... the fox is supposed to be a cunning beast...
JC is as upfront, honest and altruistic as any person - yet a politician!
A not like his so called colleauges GOSH

Twist... there's two songs made the twist... : 'Let's twist again' and 'Twist and Shout'.
There's a lot of twisting and shouting going on again...
Remember when those esteem representatives of the rotten rich used to vehemently question the sanity of anyone and anything that posed a threat...
Now! it's the champagne pseudo socialist career politicians doing the twist.
A when you are in a hole-stop digging - whoops too late Gosh

Highland Fling - a lively, whirling, full of life, to be openly enjoyed dance.
A in the mind of all (put in your own adjective - go on be as damning as you like; you will be right)
MPs of a right wing persuasion is the SNP...
and the fear of being flung out on there well jollified jacksies into the wide and wonderful world GOSH

The farmers are revolting... If! the NFU can get away with taking their cows into supermarkets...
Where! could the tube staff take their trains?
On second thoughts! not taking them anywhere will suffice.
A if the NFU can act like them damn frenchies; what are you proper Trade Unions waiting for? GOSH

Every farmer in the UK receives a £28,000 subsidy...
A read into that what you will; but, some of em are in the slurry up to their ruddy red knecks GOSH

Yet! some of em, make footballers (sorry! those in the footie game) look like 'honest' beggars.
They get a fortune/acre per annum from the EU for doing... ... exactly nowt.
A is there really an inequality problem in the UK GOSH

A more than scintilla of scientists have proved that the universe is slowing down.
Which proves the Big Bang theory.
A don't worry you've still got time to put the lottery on GOSH

They - the scientists - have also discovered how to count stars; something to do with their relative brightness
(do not half worry; it is; more complicated than it sounds)
They are now going to count every star in the universe...
A that puts your job counting lamposts in the shade GOSH

Those that know have finally admitted what some have said for years...
The nuclear industry is definitely more dodgy than we think.
A - wonder why Germany went a nuclear free country last year GOSH


12/8 2015

People (especially plebs) have never heard of the other big bang - another universal earth wrenching event
Big Bang was the name given to the deregulation of the stock exchange...
Prior; a 'firm could either buy or sell...
Post 'big bang', 'a firm' could buy AND sell - which; created the cradle for the coming of the new messiah...
- A manipulation of money and a skip full of skullduggery GOSH

This gave rise to the Global Village...
A this is when bankers stated becoming cabinet members - you little old conspiracy theoryist GOSH

What's the difference betwen a corrupt markets trader and a dodgy market trader?
A few £million a year - how do you like them apples GOSH

Had a trot around the new Roker beach prom area last week - seen the real life proof of todays 'society'.
A one mans corruption is another mans aspiration GOSH local politicians eh! GOSH

Passed the stadium of light on the way - it looks so small...
- A wonder why all those rich foreigners queue up to buy it GOSH

Wasn't that new labour chappie (parachuted into s/shields) a well paid for nowt! director at the new Roker Park!
Didn't he end up (with an immensley well paid charity job) in america; didn't Ed (balls) saunter into Harvard!
A any pleb who needs a free global village bus pass; please apply to Labour party HQ London England GOSH

Car crash lying war criminal publically states that election of JC will be a car crash.
A will a busted flush cause a flustered blush among the rakes of New Labour GOSH

Wasn't he the one; who tried to ressurect a discredited car crashed career;
as a sit down raconteur/comedian at the Whitley Bay Playhouse!
A one of the biggest crashes in entertainment history GOSH

The Met (who said they are corrupt and racist) today, set up a rolling road block...
To control the old new labour lot queueing up to have a pop at the Jeremy Corbyn movement.
A- you couldn't make it up - well the first line is sort of.. GOSH

There's another shotage of skilled labour in the North East - IT and engineering.
An - IT was an aid to industry - it's now the tail wagging the dog GOSH

Oh Mama! wont you buy me a smart phone that bends
My friends all have torches - I must make amends...
A - Well you find a word that rhymes with porches GOSH

Remember that! very few villains were taken to court for hacking...
A - the press pay-offs seen to that GOSH

Dont forget that! no? other institution (finance legal or government) carried out the crime of phone hacking.
A - It's all gone quiet over there GOSH

13/8 2015

Everybody and his dog now wants to call off the PLP leadership contest (farce - maelstrom - dogs breakfast ).
A - you only sing when you're winning - are we living in a Banana Republic now GOSH

Remember the MPs' expenses scandal!
A - it took a five year campaign by an American woman to reveal the true facts GOSH

The (our) MPs used 'every trick in the book' in the attempt to stop her... A - it took a 'stolen' redacted cd sent to a national daily shouldn't be a GOSH

Have this contemporary breed of purveyers of a politicians promise
got something more than their well expenses paid lavish lifestyles to lose?
A - could be something to do with the filthy lucre of the lobbyist fraternity and (con) sultancy GOSH

Played a couple of Bob Dylan cd/lp,s and, listened to the words, yesterday.
A - BD essentials, track three - 'Times Are Changing' GOSH

Guess which group of people knew all the words of 'Knocking On Heavens Door'?
A - not vicars, CEOs or politicians - young Keswick climbers NON GOSH

Also thought about (in a disparaging way - I hasten to add) Phony Tony and his chum chilcott.
And, lo and behold, the war enquiry is back in the news...
A - it's only thanks to the families who lost love ones - there's no good time to expose liars GOSH

A man responible for many a death ( for it is him again- phony tony) has just desperated,
"the labour party will be in Mortal danger if JC wins the leadership"
A 'mind the gap' they can't even see it - not looking the other way GOSH

Want to know if shares in trampoline manufacturers are going up or down?
A - remember, investing is like roulette; the banker always wins GOSH

Would you like your privates privatised?
A - Sperm banks and other things are sureptitiously well on the way, thanks to our tory pals GOSH

14/8 2015

The directors of a well known failing supermarket will have more jets than the next UK aircraft carrier.
A - I kid you not, and - this is projected with the present round of cuts...GOSH

Bought a new (like trainers - they last longer if you have more than one) toothbrush off of a supermarket yesterday.
Them NFU fellows took a few cows in the supermarkets last week...
There must be one hell of a herd of horses get in s/markets - the size of the tooth brushes...
A - get a medium size/strength one and brush the blighters properly.GOSH

What has a super market got in common with a tailgate Tina (or Tommy)?
A - there're here - there're there - there...GOSH

Has your store loyalty card been hacked? yet!
A - The super markers have nearly as many spies as the Government. GOSH

It's schemes for this and points for that...
A - 'you've gotta pick a pocket or two' GOSH

Well! it's nearly all over bar the shunting...
Wonder if JC prefers the Shakespeare or Carry On version!
A - 'Et tu brute' or 'Infamy, infamy... the've all got it in for me'. 'There's divilry afoot' GOSH

Wonder if JC has the same number ( dodgy, personal and professional) of advisors as the blairs had?
A - bet you... a bankers bonus to a wrench of the rowlocks; that he hasn't GOSH

A Conservative covering cloth - alright; a tory rag; has splattered out,
that, JC will cost every family in the land £2,000.
A - sounds like great value; considering that, the crash caused by their banking chums and families,
cost us sucker families, a conservative £21,000.GOSH

Dear Numptie,
You think the lid is off the can - and we haven't been doing what it says on the can...
But! if we scrape up a few bob for you personally, and I, just know, my cosy cartel of incumbent colleagues will, look after you (nudge nudge-wink wink) if you slid the lid back on...
A - that was a party political broadcast on behalf of which! party! GOSH

Greece - GOSH
15/8 2015

It' saturday ; the banks have a half a day and closed all day tomorow ; not like the shops!
A - Building societies (what's them) came about cos the banks were ripping us off GOSH

The accolade(s) for the first recognised modern bank goes to the Dutch...
A - fear ye not; the cloggies aren't coming; it was three centuries ago GOSH

Before; the global village, the EU and BIG BANG; the UK had the four big 'clearing banks' and the TSB.
The Trustee Savings bank was established; many, many years ago for us plebs; and, 'run' by us plebs cos we couldnt afford to go to a posh bank.
A - regionally organised, for the people, bank; somewhat - no very - similar to what the Germans have now Gosh

When! the TSB was sold off; to the people that already owned it; they; the bankers and chums,
said they couldn't find who actually owned TSB Scotland Gosh

In the sixties/seventies there was an area called 'The Gorbals' in Glasgow.
A - area of couldn't sink much lower estates... inhabitated by the great unwashed scum.GOSH

These 'satans of civilisation' formed a basic work and skills swop club to help each other...
A gradual, developing and evolving success story.
So successful they opened a small central office/shop/centre and started using tokens as a form of currecy to swop labour.
Then! the 'bankers' said, it was a bank; one needs a a royal charter to set up a bank and, used the law to close it down.
A - really couldn't make this up GOSH

What is the collective noun phrase for 'bankers'?
A 'bonus of bankers' or, a 'bunch of bastards'- just join the two together GOSH.

Of course! the selling off of the TSB to the people that owned it; isn't quite correct.
The TSB, building societies and National assets were sold off to the people who had the money to pay for them.
The vast majority of the Joe -pleb- Public ( course you're not a pleb) shares have ended back up in the financial insitutions that sold them... A - the've just done it again GOSH

What is the collective noun for this end game inequality control of the economy Con?
A - 'thatcherism'(don't mention her son or the war) and we as a nation, fell for it... Crook, Mine and Blinker.

a - I'm doing OK - what a load of tosh GOSH

Some royal person is whinging on that his sonny boy can't have an ordinary life!
A - If you want an ordinary life! go and live in an ex local authority rentie GOSH

There's not many left - not many at all- of the generation that thought the insurance companies were their chum cos the salesman had a friendly chat when he called to collect the money and,
had a picture of the queen in the lounge.
A - 'the times they are a changing' and about time to GOSH

Greece - GOSH

16/8 2015

Hello! campers - it's sing along Sunday...
I joined the navy to see the sea
And what did I see?
I seen the sea ...
A - Gosh What did you expect to see Gosh

We (that's us plebs) are consistently informed that this is the era of information, open-ness and,
Need I go on Gosh

In this same era, we have: injunctions - super injunctions - secret courts - and,
have to have the Freedom of information act.
A - hold it! Oh yes; then there's the confidentiality clause Gosh

Does your organisation/whatever use the 'confidentiality clause'?
Was your last room upgrade/luxury holiday paid for by a 'con... clause'
A - they are more common than a commoner; ask the queen GOSH

Since the messianic merging of the public and private sectors, 'secrets' have become bigger business than the nations belly.
A - as the man, and woman now, on the remuneration committee said "whats the problem". GOSH

Is the problem? if you are not in the loop; we, as a nation, are selling secrets to ourselves.
A - This bleeding country isn't as honest as when I were a lad GOSH

Read that twice - I did, and it's me wot wrote it.

Two songs to finish off 'sing along Sun...

There I was digging this hole...
The king is in the altogether...
A - I became a politician to change things... GOSH


17/8 2015

Just another manic monday...

'The time has come the walrus said
To talk of many things
Of ships and shoes- and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
Of why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings'

A few lines from 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' - a poem in a kiddies/brat book by Lewis Carrol
A - 'the' stanza comes halfway through- not the beginning- of a (precautionary) tale
about the naivety of the young GOSH

It's 'reported' that many of the members of society flocking to the new JC are the young.
A - the young can't be that naive then - It's not just 'a time for change'; then GOSH

Who was it that conveniently questioned the very existence of society, "Is there such a thing as society"? It wasn't -'a let's not get more women in politics'- M. Thatcher, was it GOSH

The above lines remind me of the noble art of economics.
A - It's an inexact science GOSH

The 'lone voice' on the interest rate committee, is at it again - the rate will have to rise soon to combat rising inflation.
A - he couldn't have a vested interest in the interest rate ! could he? GOSH

Our chums the bankers have ruled the roost and 'tried it on' too many times now!
A - have we -us plebs- seen the light? Gosh

They've dug Gordon brown up to try and bury Jeremy Corbyn now.
A - Do they really think we are that stupid GOSH

It was Gordon who tried the less than subtle disconnect between; the bankers and chums dominated government and the Bank of Enland.
A - that must of had an effect for about a week GOSH

Gordon, legs akimbo and bent over backwards, was at the banking backslappers ball when the whole con collapsed.
A - Are they really wanting to shine a blinding light on that again - dark desperation indeed GOSH

The manipulation of money, not funny money, and, services, are there to aid manufacturing. Is a basic economic fact.
A - Get this ratio wrong in any economy and you'll soon be captured NO GOSH A - Why did it take so long GOSH

A change is long overdue...
Or is it? a rat race baby- and you've been caught...GGGOSH


18/8 2015

Tuesday! named after some old Norse streetfighter/scrapper - yawn
So! let's call it, let's have a titter tuesday GOSH

Did you see that ad in the Wall Street Journal?
Streatham Street walker with stump seeks game boy to help with leg over- no jocks or geordies. Gosh

London now has more street walkers than street cleaners'
A - ask a kerb crawler GOSH

London now has more bankers than sperm bank contributors.
A - no comment GOSH

After a duffer had joined the local team; trial with Sheffield Wednesday - more like Shrove Tuesday.
A - what do you expect from the generation that said, "he's here; I seen him in Westerhope fish shop", about any hopeful NUFC signing.GOSH

Has the police prescence in Melton Constable evaporated?
A - ask a policeman/person - if you can find one GOSH

How much should we pay to nationalise the railways?
A - well the shareholders thought it wasn't worth a light in the public sector GOSH

What is the shortest book in the world?
A Humour in Hansard -say no more- definitely nowt about pots and kettles Gobby GOSH

What has lord-ing it up mandelson got in common with a monkey?
A - the people of Hartlepool are, rather embarrassingly, trying to forget them both GOSH

The wheel tappers and shunters was a fictitious working class midlands comedy club.
A - The jokers in Chukkasses london club - a potential leader, remember - must be laughing all the way to the bank GOSH

Sevenoaks has had more plastic surgeons than scotland has had tree surgeons.
A - must have something to do with cuts GOSH

What's the difference between a retired New Labour PM and a Tory PM?
A - more than about £20 million; you couldn't really make up anything funny GOSH

See Bournemouth football club are whinging already.
A - greed is stronger than truth - welcome to the treasure zone - Noway A GOSH

What has the lottery got in common with new labour?
A - One is a hell of a hope and the other hasn't a hope in hell NOGOSH

Is a monk a creature of habit? A - there's a few with dodgy habits...GOSH


19/8 2015

Wednesday - the norse/germanic god that married a slapper/flapper called frigg, alledgedly.
A - Or middle of the week; stop digging... oh god GOSH

The global village has an amazing number of 'mine owner' corporations in the era of inequality.
A - have you had a bargain from Amazon lately? GOSH

The 24/7 'well suckered' servants of domineering capitalism; are literally crying out for unionisation.
A - If the serfs/plebs of Amazon UK had been animals - the RSPCA would have had it 'well sorted' GOSH

A certain Seb Coe - a lord no less - has been elected il presedente of the even fitter cheats association.
A - Oh lordy! I wonder why he made it into - ahead of the times - Private Eye GOSH

Everbody should have a hobby or two; how about funerals and drinking!
A - is the wake more civilised and honest than the funeral GOSH

As the cost of paying a pleb decreases.
A - the cost of placating a pleb increases GOSH

The frackers are comming... brings to mind; the campbells are coming...
A - the campbells were mostly establishment led English troops - - not another clan. GOSH


20/8 2015

Thursday - to do with some stroppy bloke with a hammer...
A - don't believe in gods doing diy; so lets have another womans day... really! gallant GOSH

Some girls will; some girls wont...
Vote...of course a - what on earth; never mind mars and venus; did you think I meant GOSH

I've no idea of the ratio of man/woman voting...But...
All the 'weaker' sex MPs voted for war...A - gobsmacking GOSH

What's the difference between a 'high maintenance mama' and a 'baglady'?
The price of the bag. A - plastic givenchy GOSH

All! all women would prefer a givenchy or better.
A - most women don't - or prefer not to - admit that plastic bag lady exists GOSH

What are women best at driving? A car or the economy!
Undoubtably; without question; it's the economy. A - bargain grabbing GOSH

The vast majority of the female sex are unaware of their massive purchasing power.
And girl; do rich men know it. GOSH or No GOSH GOSH

So! girls when you're drivin in your car to 'drive' the economy.
Here's - new words to old song - something to think about GOSH

'Where have most of the family firms gone, short time passing?
Gone to rich men everyone,not long ago
Oh, When will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?'
A - do the rich men increase the number of bagladies? GOSH

The frackers are coming; the hackers are here.
There's very,very few women in either game - would it be any different if there was more? GOSH

The 'Hacking Game' is very similar to the arms race.
It's just a rat race baby and you've been caught. No Gosh there GOSH


21/8 2015

Friday Gosh
Black--Man--Finish--Frigg GOSH

Friday is the unlucky day to some...
A - they must be unlucky to be so stupid.GOSH

Man Friday was the black servant/chum/foe to Robinson Carusoe when slavery was OK.
A - There's many a man,and woman, would welcome back slavery of all colours today. GOSH

Friday is early finish day to many!
A - Not enjoying it; get back in and do a full day for the rich man;pleb.GOSH back again; and she's to do with Friday.
A - lot of people who swear a lot seem to associate her with Monday for some reason.GOSH

Frigg - or Mrs. Thor - had the job of spinning the clouds for us more down to earth types/suckers/plebs.
A - Which; brings us back right up to date- nothing changes... GOSH

In the age of spin are there more spin doctors than proper docs?
A - have us plebs had enough of spin - and merely want the truth GOSH

Most people on the planet can see the clouds from their windows...
A - The cloud is a number of huge data bases (your data)
a set-up which just happens to give government much easier and much greater access.GOSH

It's an almost undescribable thing- the link between business and government.
A - cynic would say it's probably something to do with money.GOSH

Gone phishing - back later


22/8 2015

The seventh day and sabbath to some...
A - I always thought the week began on mondays... I could be wrong; I could be right.GOSH

Saturday is linked to saturn - if! you are into Astrology.
A - wonder why it's women into that sort of thing - must try and get in touch with my feminine side.GOSH

Most footie games were played on a saturday before the advent of the premiership
and the demise of International Football.
A - and for many other sports - money makes the world go around...GOSH

Cricket is a game of overs.
A - the season wil be over soon GREAT GOSH

Name as many songs with saturday in the title...
A - apart from 'Saturday Night fever' GOSH

The Corbyn Kerfuffle is turning into a dance marathon.
A - the new labour lot are fighting for their very existence GOSH

If! you had to pick just one word to describe new labour...
A - corrupt GOSH

Moving house - just sort of up the road; soon.
A - how long for the broadband connection this time NO GOSH

It's not just the communication companies/empires.
A - are we all still in/on the same country/planet GOSH


23/8 2015 Sunday... eh!

Now is it the first or last day of the week?
A - I couldn't give a damn; however, there's quite a few that do.GOSH

Having a sunday smartphone/laptop lie-in?
A - here's a little wake up quiz GOSH

Who said:
Religion is the opium of the masses.
A - no marks for getting that one GOSH

When the white man came to Africa; we had the land and he had the religion.
Now; we have the religion and he has the land.
A - black man in a white collar with a funny pink dress GOSH

The church was invented to give hope in the next world...
to those who have no hope in this...
A - scottish/canadian american economist/diplomat/prolific writer of fact!! not fiction
not everthings bad in America - wise man not guy - JKG GOSH

One; just has to look at the places of worship to realise the impact of religion through the ages
A - some of them are even bigger than palaces and country piles GOSH

Nowadays; just 1-2% of the population go to the white mans church.
A - is a man of the cloth a part time lover and a part time purveyor of worship GOSH

It's easy and convenient to hang the tag of 'Holy War' on any conflict.
A - wonder how many holes to get out the oil; the west has drilled in a muslim country GOSH

Today is the day of the sunday paper.
A - what was the name of that enquiry that was supposed to have a proper gander
into the 'unpublicised' part of the press again GOSH

Many people ( those whom the good lord has blessed and can afford it ) have sunday lunch.
A - Never mind the fool of a family man that runs the country and leaves his daughter in the pub -
where the hell was mammy GOSH

GREECE - is it kicking off again - GOSH

24/8 2015

Monday - misery and mayhem to many

Another one bites the dust- or how many? in another a stupid accident
A - Life and death is indeed a lottery at times.GOSH

For a flying accident to happen; the experts say all the holes in the cheese have to line up.
The enquiry often; has to blame man or machine.
A - Man made the machine; it's really a crazy stand off between man and money GOSH

BT and chums have almost everything made cheaply in China.
A - Will the UK have to depend on China for Nuclear Energy - we all love a bargain GOSH

The cuts are kicking in now - cuts have a knock on effect to others near!
A - are you one of the non-pleb, fools, tools and ghouls that voted for them GOSH


25/8 2015

Today will be known as Hottie Hormone tuesday.
A - what have they thought of now to try and pervert the course of true democracy GOSH

It reminds me of the song ' I'm forever blowing bubbles'.
A - what's the initials of the bloke about to burst the 'westminster bubble' -JC- GOSH

There's talk of bringing the 'learned lot - take any money for anything' into the fray
A - will it be tort on the side of Corbyn; and criminal, defending the other also ran three.GOSH

Are these far right of centre pseudo socialist career politicians aware of the bubble and democracy?
A - is there more than a political career/pension at stake - ask a lobbyist GOSH

The new labour lot and their opponents/chums are denying the fact - right in front of their noses -
that they have been captured.
A - Real democracy is bottom up -Oh lordy, no pun intended- not top down GOSH

It's brown trousers and, squeaky bum time, for those in charge of the markets - the global village.
A - The've found out they can't control China - a China with an 'empire building' massive force of cheap labour. GOSH

26/8 2015

Today is moving wednesday...
A - not cos me and the gruppenfuhrer are moving -
the moving and manipulation of money wednesday. GOSH

China now has more debt than America - the figures are stupendous...
Yet! China owns by far the largest wedge of Americas debt - bankers eh! GOSH

The world is in another recession - remember 'GORDON -new labour - pretendy chum of phony tony' had just banished banished boom and bust - bang.
A - It was the bankers in charge of goverments and now (young) economists are saying
they have just found out that manipulating money can't run the world.GOSH exponentially

Is; history bunkum?
A - How long does it take inflation to come round - as soon as the next generation forgets.GOSH

For it's not on yer bike - it's the business bike or cycle.
Is it a different, banker led as opposed to industrial, cycle this time round! GIDDY GOSH

Unfortunately! Yes. it's not just the massive scale of 'banker for banker' controlled money manipulation; they have hedged their bets by using QE electronically printed money to buy up huge swathes of industry and commerce.
A - Its now up to us plebs/deferential divis/suckers to get it back off them. GO GET EM GOSH


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