FRI 1st DEC 2017

On This Day 1st of DEC

Henry 1  Yanis Faroufakis

1135; England's King Henry I died.
He had fallen ill seven days earlier after eating too many lampreys (jawless fish resembling eels).
He was 66, and had ruled for 35 years.
Henry was the fouth and last son of William (basher bill) the conqueror - daughters were far from divine in those days.
Long live the king - let's start scrapping for the goodies when he's gone GOSH

Damien Green is not guilty of don't be naughty nowt - shall we hang him.
A divided minority government will be desperate not to lose another appointment of one of the gang, rather than a person of ability.
These people are coached and encouraged to deny any guilt.
Here we go; here we go; here we Go GOSH

1642; The 1st English Civil War.
A victory for Parliamentarian Forces when Colonel Sir William Waller stormed Farnham Castle in Kent.
It became his base for the remainder of the war.
When the talking stops; the killing starts...
Anyone for homegrown Gore GOSH

1942; The Beveridge Report, written by Sir William Beveridge, proposed a welfare state for Britain.
Care to all from the cradle to the grave.
It revolved around a compulsory National Insurance scheme to provide all adults with free medical treatment, unemployment benefit and old age pensions.
Beveridge was a Liberal by politics reformer...
The NHS as we previously knew it, started in 1945 - by a Labour Government; just after the end of the second world war. Many of the greedy git gang now want to see the 'workhouse' again. NO GOSH

2010; Large parts of the UK were brought to a standstill by the early freeze.
Temperatures plunged again overnight to -16C (3F) in the Scottish Highland after one of the coldest starts to December in more than 20 years.
Some 4,000 schools were closed, the Forth Road Bridge was closed for the first time since it opened in 1964.
Edinburgh and Gatwick airports were shut.
The Met Office issued heavy snow warnings for Scotland and north-east, eastern and south-east England.
If you couldn't now afford to heat your home or lived on the streets, it is colder than that now.
Out of my way said the receding glacier; where's me galoshes no GOSH

2014; Dr. Myles Bradbury was jailed for 22 years after abusing children who had cancer or grave blood disorders.
He pleaded guilty to 25 offences against boys aged 10 to 16, including sexual assault, voyeurism and possessing more than 16,000 indecent images.
About 800 more families were told that their children could have been at risk during the five years that Bradbury worked for the hospital - a teaching NHS foundation trust of the Cambridge Uni.
Trust in me he whispered with Glee GOSH

2014; Christopher Law, the former owner of Britain’s last surviving temperance bar was prosecuted for drink-driving.
Is the life of today enough to drive a man/woman to drink!. Text me the answer while driving...
Giz a tonic and don't forget the Gin. NO JOSH GOSH

The original Greek negotiator in the Greek loans 'fiasco' was on the 'BBC' question time last night.
A true pro EU trading block socialist economist - he was sacked/let go/resigned by the Greek coalition government to hopefully expedite a deal.
He - Yanis Varoufakis - succintly summed up the UK brexit farce as a breakfast - a dogs breakfast...
Who am I/you/we to disagree.

SAT 2nd DEC 2017

On This Day 2nd of DEC

Crematorium 1887  Tax Haven Giggle

1769; Britain's first cremation took place, in St. George's burial ground, London.
There used to be two dead certs in life - death and taxes.
There they was - like todays unsaved effort - gone GOSH
If I only had time...
Here's one I did earlier - modified so it's not gibberish GOSH

We are living longer but we still die.
Start off with one funeral parlour and build up a chain, then charge a fortune!
Sorry you have missed the hearse - the large American undertakers have cornered the corpse market.
They bought out the UK family firms a generation ago.
An American hedge fund now owns the COOP bank and all the other bits - no tosh GOSH
You can get cremated for a bargain price online - send your unwanted dead body to CORPSE R US .gon.
No seriously; they send your body to the nearest contracted crematorium - there's a choice of urns but you can't choose between heaven or hell.
If you have no disposable income you will be disposed of ASAP - bad news has more chance of being buried than you.
One has to take out a mortgage with a 99 year lease on a burial plot in London nowadays. RIP. when you are gone GOSH

Tax consultancy has been one of the biggest growth industries since viagra and gm crops raised their ugly stalks.
They are supposed to be stopping tax evasion but don't worry; there's still tons of time to make piles of pounds.
The gravy train is still hurtling along the track.
Many large firms and individuals will still be paying little or no tax for many years to come - in a recession the rich need all the help they can get. GOSH

There are about 70 tax havens in this wonderful world.
The UK is one and has close links to a surprising number of the others. here's most of them: USA...Alderney...Bahamas ... Jersey ... St. Kitts and Nevis... Bahrain... St. Vincent... Gibraltar... Barbados ... Botswana... St. Lucia... Belize ... Singapore ... Ireland ... Isle of Man... UAE... Marshall Islands... Bermuda... Cook Islands... Sark ... British Virgin Islands.
Since this was wrote the money has moved on to fresh grassy banks afar - the global dodgy at best market EH! Where's the money gone! GOing GOSH

If you are considering a career in the accountancy of avoidance and evasion... go for the nouveau-riche clientele, such as comedians, politicians and chums, and, footballers - you'll be able to laugh when you kick the rest of society in the balls.
If you don't think that the inequality inducing tax fiddling in this culture of greed is well on the way to the breakdown of 'Society' you need...
penny pinching pound
Police in the park.
Titter on the way to the tax haven...
Breakaway from the trading block in a Global Economy.
More gratuitous glitter in your gleeful - are they starting to probe - Globe. gloss GOSH

In Greece - and other countries - one is prohibited to die in certain places. Cremation is increasing worldwide - it's cheaper.
The pop. growth rate in Greece is on the decline - don't mention immigration...

SUN 3rd DEC 2017

On This Day 3rd of DEC

Edward V11  Prince Philip

1909; King Edward VII dissolved Parliament and taxes on alcohol, tobacco and cars were suspended.
No budget had been passed by a Liberal party held in power with aid of the 29 Labour MPs and; don't mention our Irish friends...
Edward was the eldest son of Queen Victoria and had a reputation as a 'playboy prince'. Don't mention the links to European royalty.
I said don't mention the saxe coburgs...Bosch Gosh

1936; The Royal Family cancelled all engagements as news broke of Edward VIII's determination to marry divorcee Wallis Simpson.
Ted and walli toured Germany just before the second world war.
Did they have relatives there!.
Don't mention sympathy and germans No Josh GOSH

2012; St James's Palace announced that the Duchess of Cambridge was expecting a baby.
The baby, the couple's first, would be born third in line to the throne, after Prince Charles and Prince William.
Prince Harry is now fifth in line to the throne.
His relation, George v, became king unexpectantly - he was third in line.
Hang on to your gonads GOSH

Greece has been officially a republic since 1973.
The king of Greece went into exile in 1967; - after a failed counter coup against that of the military Junta - as right wing as they come...
The Greek royal decendants - Danish links - are now back in Greece; they must think they are in with a chance
Wonder who phil the Greek/Danelander married in 1947!

MON 4th DEC 2017

On This Day 4th of DEC

Such a lot happened on this date throughout the ages.
Unfortunately, for us all, the clock is ticking louder.
Normal sevice will be resumed ASAP - tomorrow...

1154; The only Englishman to become a pope, Nicholas Breakspear, became Adrian IV.

1586; Queen Elizabeth I conferred the death sentence on Mary Queen of Scots after discovering a plot to assassinate her and bring about a Roman Catholic uprising.

1798; British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger announced the introduction of Income Tax to help finance the war against France.

1865; Birth of Edith Cavell at Swardeston ( 4 miles south of Norwich).
An English nurse in Brussels 1914-15, she was accused of helping Allied soldiers escape occupied Belgium.
She was executed by the Germans.

1948; George Orwell completed the final draft of the book Nineteen Eighty Four.
The book was published on 8th June 1949.

1952; At least 4,000 people died in a week, from breathing difficulties, during a severe London smog.

1997; Europe's health ministers voted to ban tobacco advertising throughout the European Union.
However; they agreed that motor-racing, which relied heavily on sponsorship and advertising by tobacco companies, should be exempt for another 8 years.

2008; The Bank of England cut interest rates by one percentage point, from 3% to 2% - the lowest level since 1951.
The move followed a dramatic cut in November in an attempt to help the slowing economy.

2013 One of Edinburgh’s new trams (No. 264) completed the first test run along Princes Street, flanked by teams of engineers.
It was the first time since 1956 that a tram had run on Princes Street.
Council bosses said that it was another indication that they were back in control of the troubled project.

2014; Knutsford council, in Cheshire, approved plans to widen the town's pavements.
220 years previously, spinster Lady Jane Stanley had paid for narrow pavements to be laid in the town, to prevent lovers from strolling arm in arm.

2014 The death, aged 85, of Jeremy Thorpe, former Liberal partyleader.
That old joke - I'll be buggered if I'll vote Liberal

No Greece today...

TUES 5th DEC 2017

On This Day 5th of DEC

 Penny Black  Latest Smart Phone

1839; The postage rate in Britain was changed to a standard charge of 4d (4 old pence) a half ounce instead of being charged by distance.
This was the era of the penny black and the worlds first postage stamps.
This was the era when acts of parliament were suck it and see...
Since then 'All'standards have risen and been strenously stamped down...
BT used to be part of the Post Office - how many people know that BT was given £1 billion of taxpayers money to roll out Broadband across the country; and is failing miserably.
In the privatisation era of rampant price rise - here we (SOME) go GOSH

1905; The roof of Charing Cross Railway Station in London collapsed, killing five people.
Can you think of a disaster - Near dis... - near you...
This was the era when us Brits were supposed to be great GOSH

1913; Britain forbade the selling of arms to Ireland.
Let the games (troubles) - don't mention the EU - begin again GOSH

1958; Prime Minister Harold Macmillan opened the Preston bypass in Lancashire.
It was the first stretch of motorway in Britain and is now part of the M6 and M55 motorways.
At peak times nowadays - the era of too much travel - there's not enough road to go round.
In an economy under pressure; never mind the planet; change is too slow.
From the cradle to the early grave GOSH

1973; During a petrol shortage, the government imposed a 50mph speed limit to save fuel.
Are you a smartarse average driver now that most of the cameras have gone GOSH

2012; The Audit Commission announced that English councils had increased their reserves by £4.5bn over the previous five years to £12.9bn despite cuts to funding.
The money set aside was the equivalent of almost a third of their spending on services.
Another fascinating fact from the 'independantic' audit commission - one with all the compassion of an audit commission acoountants cold calculator.
If you don't think that the public sector is under the cosh; have a proppa gander GOSH

2013; Reforms in Chancellor George Osborne's Autumn Statement included that those in their twenties would have to work until they were 70, under sweeping changes to the basic state pension.
We are back to the legislation of suck it and see...
Now if we really were all in it together - are you a greedy git GOSH

The Greek pension pot has a huge hole compared to other countries - say the greedy gits.
Wasn't Maxwell a Czech (the bouncing check) and not a Greek.
What! there are no Greek greedy gits - you say...
The Greek loans made it possible For Greece to become an EU member.
The further dubious loans were arranged to hide the original loans.
Greedy gits and democracies EH!

WED 6th DEC 2017

On This Day 6th of DEC

 Penny Black  Latest Smart Phone

The Feast day of Nicholas, popularly known as Santa Claus.
He is the patron saint of children.
The name Santa Claus is a phonetic alteration from the German Sankt Niklaus and the Dutch Sinterklaas.
St Nicholas was Greek.
Many Brits - don't mention; I said don't mention; UKIP, EDL, BF and the BNP - believe that Santa was A Brit...
True... something that rhymes with grit GOSH
1897; The world's first fleet of motorised taxi cabs started operating in London.
Before that; there was horsie dodah everywhere - as much a problem as the smog...
Now Uber is as much a problem to the established taxi driver.
Do you know where you're going! GOSH

1916; David Lloyd George became Prime Minister - a Liberal.
He was born in Chorlton-on-Medlock, near Manchester, to Welsh parents, but the tiny village of Llanystumdwy was his childhood home.
Lloydy; oh lordy; was a bit of a LAD.
The words, 'Lloyd George was my father...' were often sung to the tune of, 'Land of hope and Glory'.
'Passion' - some say sex - and power ' have always been a goer GOSH

1921; Irish independence was granted for the 26 southern states that became known as the Irish Free State.
Six counties which formed Ulster (Northern Ireland) remained as part of the UK.
Freedom - don't even think brexit breakfast - come; freedom Go GOSH

1963; English call-girl Christine Keeler, one of the models named in the scandal involving British Secretary of State for War John Profumo, was jailed for 9 months for perjury arising from the trial of an ex-boyfriend.
Less than fair maids and money...
This was the adolescent attention acquisition relevation of the sixties.
This was High society corruption with extra spice.
Don't mention lord lambton and other denizens of the hitherto hidden depths.
Another trial involved Christines mate, Mandy Rice Davis.
The infamous said on oath words, 'Well, he would (say that) wouldn't he...' with more than a bit of a giggle GOSH

2005; David Cameron beat David Davis to the leadership of the Conservative Party.
David - smiling assassin; reckoned to be lazy - Davis is now the UK chief Brexit negotiator...
Do mention a dogs breakfast rapidly evolving into one humongous all day grill GOSH

1994; The Queen gave the go ahead for oil drilling to take place in the grounds of Windsor Castle.
The move came after studies showed there could be up to £1bn of oil lying beneath the castle.
Windsor castle has 5,000 acres of land - this is a posh part of the world.
The vast majority is private - a 'private key' used to cost £20/annum.
Go to the lakes - it's free; there's much more to see, he gurgled with glee GOSH

The Greek Coalition government are passing legislation making it harder to unions to strike.
There may/will be trouble ahead...

THURS 7th DEC 2017

On This Day 7th of DEC

 St Columba Church Today  How Long For the EU

521; The birth of Saint Columba, the Irish Christian who made his missionary trip to Scotland in 563.
Columba is credited as bringing a revival of Christianity to Western Europe after the fall of the Roman Empire.
He died on the Scottish island of Iona and was buried in 597 AD by his monks in the abbey he had created there.
Ever been to Lindisfarne! The brewery/distillery is/was a substantial sized seperate building - as was the servants bit.
Must have been a bit of the cult to the local pagans...
Wanna be in my gang GOSH.

1940; The birth, in Liverpool, of the comedian Stan Boardman who broke into television via Opportunity Knocks and The Comedians.
Did you see the size of the queues at the recent X factor auditions?
Are you a desperado in an economy under pressure?
Joe and Jackie Blogs having a GO GOSH

1955; Clement Atlee resigned as leader of the opposition Labour Party, following months of speculation.
Hours later he was made an Earl by the Queen; the first Labour leader to accept a hereditary peerage.
Mr Attlee led his party for 20 years and had a seat in the House of Commons for 33 years.
In 1942 he became deputy prime minister in the war cabinet under Sir Winston Churchill. During his six years as prime minister from 1945 to 1951 he oversaw sweeping changes to the welfare state, with the introduction of the National Health Service and the nationalisation of many key industries - the Bank of England, civil aviation, coal, telecommunications, transport, electricity, iron and steel.
Where have all the national assetts gone GOSH

1979; Cabinet minister Lord 'fatty' Soames was named transitional governor of Rhodesia to oversee its progress into legal independence.
In 1964, the Prime Minister of Southern Rhodesia Ian Smith had rejected British conditions for independence.
Rhodesia became a British colony in 1923, and was dogged by violence and international alienation during its struggle for independence. The Empire has gone.
Wanna be in which gang GOSH!

1979; Production of MG Midget sports cars came to an end.
73,899 of the last version were produced and the last 500 cars were painted black.
This two generation period of the manipulation and manoeuvering of money has long seen its day.
Far too many people in this nation state are creaming it off the top.
Time for this country - whatever the border - to get back to the honest endeavour of making things.
Making anything except guns GOSH

2001; The Taliban regime gave up its stronghold in Kandahar, Afghanistan.
The fall of Kandahar came after the Afghan capital Kabul had been retaken in November.
An ebullient Tony Blair, Prime MInister at the time, said - 'That regime is effectively now disintegrated. The terror camps can be shut down, and I think that is a fantastic thing.'
The cost of 'protecting' national interests is now a bigger dogs dinner than brexit.
There'll be blue skies over the white cliffs of dover when peace envoys and pigs stop flying over Gaza GOSH

Before Brexit it used to be Grexit...
To reach any kind of agreement some body is going to have to eat a substantial amount of a dogs breakfast.