April Fools Day 2017

 A Selfie by Constable  New Slaves for Old

Will Euro fool day outlive April fool day - vote for me and I'll set you free...
It only lasts till Miday - after that you can believe anthing one wants - some people do...
Are there more cons in the era of internet enlightenment than the age of victorian values!
You are no sucker and definitely not any form of gonad GOSH

1949; - four years after WW2 - the 26 counties of the Irish Free State; became the Republic of Ireland.
Them damn Irish terrorists were helped by the nazis; weren't they.
No one in the green and pleasant land of England - especially those leaning a long way to the right - were chums of the nazis - they were just diplomatic appeasers; you april gonad GOSH

1980; part of the beach at Brighton became the first official nudist - sorry; naturist - beach in Britain.
Wonder how many! if you're just passing; don't have a gander GOSH

1989; the poll tax ( community charge ) was introduced/tried on in Scotland.
It was opposition to the poll tax which split the labour party and eventually led to the domination of the SNP.
Don't mention the demise of the dame of division; when the 'tax' was riotously rendered to the people of England A year later.
The next gang of greedy gits got rid of the poll tax and increased VAT to cover the shortfall.
The electorate fell for it.
The working class were starved of work - by both main parties - and became the underclass - just a bunch of goons GOSH

2016; the new 'living wage' was made mandatory by the greedy gits - £7.20 an hour... did you buy it!
And now, many more are aware - some are not - of a 'relatively still rich' - nation under economic pressure; can you buy your own house!
How would one 'honestly' describe a nation state that has to legislate for a minimum/living wage.
Market forces - slaves were ( some still are ) taken to markets.
Now are we all greedy gits - A gory GOSH

Now we have 'democratically' broken free from the shackles of a centre right Europe - we have been centre right for most of our political/economic history - right!.
Will we, with the help of the yanks - or vice versa - or The EU; in two years time; make slaves of the Greeks.
The planets banksters wiil be laughing all the way to the bank(s)
On fools day have a giggle GOSH

2nd April 2017

 Don't Flush Sign  The New Watford GAP

1873; 'Our' - most of our train/transport sets are owned by foreign governments and bought with funny money magiced up by international private banks - sleeping car carriages, were fitted with loos.
8 long hold on to your whatever years later the 'day' - less profit - trains were fitted with bogs.
If you think the signs ' while the train is in the station; please refrain from urination - an euphanism for don't' drop a turd on the track ' is a myth; you are yesterdays fool.
The more affluent; the less effluence is a load of gash GOSH

There is a strong whiff of 'more than rumour' that the affair of Charlie and Camilla seen the early light; cos
One of the 'royal guard' refused to clean up the evidence of the 'royal' train on the track.
He came clean and went to the papers.
His career went down the tubes I Glean GOSH

Many must have competition moons ago; we got the train from Newcatle to Weymouth - only had to change at Bristol.
The franchise for that part of the English planet was run by a french company.
The rolling stock old and dirty! it had been used more times than a plebs platinum - get your free money here - placebo.
The french would'nt have boarded - they would have stoned the train from their place on the platform.
Travel with me; but don't have a wee. Gush GOSH

In the pre-premier era; Man city had a striker who totted up more penalties than the last ten years of barclays bank.
No Franny Lee diving bell jokes; please.
Mr Lee invested in commercial/domestic paper - that factory in Hexham was one of his.
He could see a bog roll coming a meal off...
Gadzooks! enough of this gibbering gash GOSH

Trains and planes have there heads on regarding loos.
The well - some would conveniently say 'half cut' cut coucils haven't - where have all the public prives gone.
Even in the days of milk and honey; Us brits made more of a doodah about our bodily waste than our friends in Europe.
The bums still on the same seat; our ex chums on the continent even more think we are full of it
When you gotta go; you gotta go GOSH

Is blocking up 'the system' a foreign thing in touristy nation states.
Do Greeks abuse their bogs more than us Brits.
It seems that the EU has a hot/cold; north/south similar but opposite syndrome as well as nation state members.
Will the hard cold north help out the southern softies?

MON 3rd April 2017

 Winchester Cathedral  Greek Student Car

1043; Edward the confessor - ted the talker - was crowned king of England (Just England) at Winchester Cathedral.
He was regarded the/a national Saint until Ted 3 made Saint George the head heavenly honcho circa 1350.
The plebs must have saints that are dead and gone GOSH

The bonzo dog doo dah band had a hit in the 60's with 'Winchester Cathedral' - students eh!
Graduates (under and over) and girls GOSH

The Church had immense power in the 'old' days - they still have their well annointed noses in the seat of power.
26 bishops ( the lords spiritual ) have a seat in the lords - 21 of the more common ones are; first come first served - are they dieing to get in.
The five nearest to god get an automatic place - the bishop of winchester is one - archbishops ( and others ) usually become life peers
The nearer to the good lord the more the glory and gratification GOSH

Two bishops are not on the list - Sodor and Gibralter - where!
Sodor is the Isle of man - and who hasn't heard of GIB Josh GOSH

The rock is rattling already over the brexit breakaway.
More than one greedy git armchair warrior is sabre rattling right now.
Anyone for the nitty gritty GOSH

2000; a controversial scheme to give asylum seekers vouchers instead of cash came into force.
Don't mention the kept secret for years, John Lewis list...
The good lord and governments like to control grants GOSH.

2014: a 25 year old student was fined and given penalty points after he was caught driving a car with
all 4 doors removed, along with the headlights, front and rear indicators, bonnet, grille, and rear brake lights
which he had removed to sell on-line.
He had been attempting to take the car to a recycling centre five miles from his home in Nottinghamshire,
to sell for scrap.
Students and an economy under pressure grants GOSH

The Greek fourth largest bank is reckoned to be back in the black.
Do you trust an international private bank said to be controlled by a divided coalition government!
If pigs eat olives they can fly.
There is a million times more spin on the Greek loans in the money men media than the main stream media.
Money makes the world go around - see if you plebs can hang on.

TUES 4th April 2017

 Charles the Second  The Schengen Zone

1660; Charlie two proclaimed the 'Declaration of Breda': a promise to pardon all 'crime' in the Civil War.
Breda is a place in Holland; charlie two lived in the spanish ruled low countries - he was the first Brussel sprout.
A kings cant had about the same weight as a politicians promise.
The plebs don't know - let's give it a go.

The bodies of the king killers (his dad) were dug up; then hung drawn and quartered - don't mention tothers
A mercenary named Monk was on more sides than a lib dem.
In the pursuit of power - and wealth - skullduggery rules forever OK.
Charlie boy two was a knight of the garter GOSH

1949; NATO was formed by 12 western states; including GB and the yanks; bring on the cold war against them bolshie bastards.
Theres some that claim the nazis were a form of socialism...
A pre EU fighting/defence multi-national force - god bless America.
The arms race had such gravity GOSH

Since the collapse of communism - was it eight of the Dumas that actually resigned; power berfore politics EH! - them rotten to the rump Ruskis have been public enemy no 1; until recent times.
Of late; the UK and yanks are more distant to Europe - let's have an EU army.
The rich Russians are all over London - Mr. Trump prefers the Russians as chums; to the Chinese pals of N Korea...
The Uk greedy gits are offering nibbles to any nation state on the planet Power politics is an ever increasing complicated game.GOSH

In 1997 the residents of Eigg bought their small island off the west coast of Scotland with the help of an anonymous English millionairess after a 8 month legal battle - one law for the rich and one...
Scottish land has more non resident foreign owners than any 'nation state' - to be - on the planet.
The SNP have an extensive plan for land reform.
It's not just the oil grab GOSH

2007; fifteen Royal navy 'personnel' were released by the head honch of Iran - borders and diplomacy EH!
Its been a while since European powers - mostly us - the Yanks and Japanese, sent gun boats up the yangste.
Where have all the borders gone - long time passing...
If you think you are hard/rich enough; have a go GOSH

Greece has one of the largest naval forces on this planet - can it control its own borders as a nation state.
The schengen agreement was signed in 1985; 26 countries, 400 million people agreed to get rid of nation state borders
The UK was never in the Schengen zone and soon it won't be in the EU.
The EU insists that 'schengen' is here to stay; negotiate your way around that.

WED 5th April 2017

 Statue of Rob Raikes  The European Theatre of War

1811; Rob Raikes (the younger of course) died - said to have started/encouraged/financed Church Sunday Schools
The blueprint for state education .
Bob was a philanthropist and layman of the Anglican Church - his dad was a publisher who left the family a few bob.
Wonder if they had fake news in the early 19th century.
It seems that Rob was a mix of bad/good money and good gob GOSH

I went to Sunday School (for a while) a comp, then Grammar/tech; our offspring had private education.
Out of all the T/shirts which one would I proudly wear - one school for all.
Inequality comes out of division - don't mention devolution.
There they go - whoops the've nearly gone GOSH

1843; Queen victoria - not the government - made Hong Kong a British Colony.
Hong Kong - flagrant harbour; have a whiff - ruled OK by the Japanese 41-45 - is now back in the hands of China.
What have those ex/still Brit Islands got in common - tax haven to the greedy; the only thing that trickles down is sweat - not perspiration.
Where have all the colonies gone GOSH

1941; Sir Nigel Gresley died; he designed the A4 class 'Mallard'; holder of the world steam engine/train record - 126 MPH.
What is not widely known is that the Germans were only half a MPH behind us.
A few seconds - money makes the wheels go around... - means silver.
Silver is for suckers - let's go for gold GOSH

1942; the Japanese navy sank two Royal navy ships just off Columbia - wonder if there's any oil round Ceylon Way.
The Americans - supplied war materials and volunteers - Germany had declared war on the USofA earlier - didn't officially start fighting until after the Japanese attack on pearl harbour in December of the same year.
Never forget that China and Russia were on the side of us and America.
When war begins; the truth is the first thing out the window - including economic war - There's ever so much gallantry GOSH

Ken Livingstone has been disciplined at the behest of an over represented minority group of the Labour Party.
What over time has the US of America got in common with the state of Israel? The oppressed have become the oppressors.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we pracice to spin with grin. GOSH

Greece was invaded and controlled by the axis forces in the second world war.
One of the main reasons for the founding of the EU was to prevent another war in Europe.
It is accepted by the 'intelligentsia' that the imminent end of debate/thread on the net is signalled by the mention of the nazis and or the holocaust

THURS 6th April 2017

 Statue at Arbroath  Money! makes the world...

1320; The Declaration of Arbroath reinforced the independence of Scotland.
A letter to the 'Pope' confirmed Scotland as a sovereign state with the right to defend itself.
It was written in latin and signed/sealed by the greedy gits GOSH

Despite all the scrapping; Scotland was its own boss from 843 to 1707; when unification became official.
What's it oil about now Jimmy...
The vast amount by far of UK oil reserves are in Scottish territoral waters.
There's a herd of elephants the size of oil rigs in the room.
North of the border where it's cold there's gold GOSH

How many barnet formulae is the oil worth.
Let my people go GOSH

1963; Britain - not the UK - and America signed the polaris agreement.
Two generations later it's all about Trident - could England afford nukes without the Scottish oil.
Is the future orange green or; grim without a god GOSH

The con greedy git split is all about Europe v America - manufacturing v banking.
The labour split is all about centre right career politics v pleb honesty
We can work it out - have a gander gosh

1989; thatcherism abolished legislation that gave Trade unionists work.
Not long later Phoey Tony effectively abolished Clause 1v of the labour Party Constitution.
The electorate of the UK were giving the nod to inequality and hammering the underclass into the ground GOSH

1993; Cos the plebs weren't happy, Betty two - one of the richest women on the planet; on or off paper - began paying income tax.
Charlie boy increased the royal rents and the family became richer.
The lesser royals flogged off some of the pressies from the rags to riches heads of nation states.
Everything became rosier in the royal garden GOSH

2014; The leader of the polish centre left opposition, came to london to find out why poles prefer Godalming to Gdansk.
A business man emulating an immigrant - he lasted three days; I believe, then had to return for pressing engagements GOSH

He'll be crying off a marine basic training course next.
Oh! it's already been done by a royal greedy git.GOSH

The UKIP meps are chums of the far right Polish meps; but found it politically expedient not to form an alliance.
How far right has the western world gone! Grusse Gott GOSH

The Greek loans and Greek politics are not complicated.
Do we go back to making things; or carry on with, inequality and too many creaming it off the top manipulating money.

FRI 7th April 2017

 Dick Turpin pamphlet  Money! Rules the world

1739; Dick Turpin (who) was hung at York for alledgedly murdering an innkeeper.
Originally a towie toerag - he was definitely a horse/live stock thief that moved North to evade the 'authorities'
Shall we hang him - he jumped; wasn't pushed; and gravity took him to his grave GOSH

1832; Joe Thompson; a Carlisle farmer auctioned his wife when they both agreed to part - he wanted 50 shillings.
He alledgedly got 20 shilling and a newfoundland dog.
$4.5 billion is reckoned to be the highest alimony award - usually to the woman - these days..
Wonder how much the lawyers got GOSH

1853; Queen Vic ( the multinational ruler - not the pub ) became the first royal to be given chloroform.
To help her eighth offspring pop out - a male; named prince leopold.
To put up with a 'Royal Family' today; the plebs must be on a drug.
After two kids they have to take gangrene of the gonads.GOSH

1914; the commons passed the Irish home rule bill.
This country and colonies.
Soon; they will all be gone GOSH

1976; John Stonehouse; a labour politician, resigned and left the labour government with a minority of one.
The malevolent (misguided self serving career politician) blighter who left his kit on a Miami beach and was found in Oz with his mistress/secretary; Shiela.
Don't mention the blue collar crime...
A sign of things to come and things goneby GOSH

Yesterday; the two youngish'uns who worked/traded for the casino arm of barclays bank were found not guilty of rigging the LIBOR rate.
Last year four of their barclays colleagues were knicked for it - are they in a posh prison!
A few years for more than a few million.
One law for the plebs and one law for aspirant greedy gits GOSH

One of the acquitted was a yank - the other a Greek.
The international greedy git gang.

SAT 8th April 2017

 William Gladstone  NI Dep First Minister

1886; Bill Gladstone - a liberal Jock (Eton and Oxford - wealth inherited from from slavery) that started off as a tory greedy git - don't mention the split - introduced the first Irish Home rule Bill.
This and the Irish Land Act of 1870 were put together without his 'cabinet colleagues' and Irish politicians.
Was he a futeristic realist and/or a not so greedy concientious git. GOSH

All the early 'Irish Bills' were knocked back by the House of Lords - the landowners whose families owned the large businessess.
The rest is bloody history; don't forget the gore GOSH

1904; the first Entente Cordiale.
Britain agreed to recognise the suez canal convention and give up claims to Madagascar.
The Suez canal - despite the joint Us and French military intervention is now owned by the land it runs through; Egypt.
Madagascar has been an independent republic since 1960.
The colonies and protectorates are going going; Gone! GOSH

1925; The Oz government and the British Colonial office offered low interest loans to encourage emigration to Oz.
Where's a pleb (labour - as in work) when you need one! There he goes GOSH

Reminds me of that Alexei Sayle ( A liverpudlian alternative comedian of jewish extraction ) Joke.
Oz immigration/customs official, " got a criminal record?".
Mr Sayle, with feigned agog, " I didn't know you still had to have one ".
One has to guffaw GOSH.

1953; the Brits gave Jomo Kenyatta 7 year sentence for being an independence workie ticket - dont mention the Mau mau.
In 1963 Mr Kenyatta became PM of independent Kenya.
In 1964 he became president of the Republic of Kenya.
In colonial days did Brits go abroad to graft GOSH.

2014; Michael Higgins became the first Irish head of state to be given an English (UK) state visit.
He was accompanied by former IRA commander Martin McGuiness - he had been the deputy first minister of NI for 7 year.
Isn't self determination - some say sovereignty - and freedom Great GOSH>

Greece has its share of terrorism/whatever - the last bomb was in central Athens; 2016.
Greece is still a member of the EU - will bombs etc stop if it leaves?
What kind of fool would think so!

EU Terrorism